caroline@chapplecoaching.com

Going straight to simple

Growing up I was always being told I was too intense. It never bothered me because when you’re intense, concerned disapproval is just something else to be intense about.

Since then, I’ve relaxed significantly and channelled my remaining intensity into things it’s good for.

So now I get told I overcomplicate things.

To be fair I can over-complicate things. For example, I used to find personal feedback difficult to take at face value. If it was negative (or ‘constructive’, as we say in corporate land) I’d generalise it, exaggerating the criticism way beyond its original intent.

If it was positive I’d either need it re-stated in a thousand different ways before I could believe it (but enough was never enough), or find the quickest way of discrediting it to save myself the bother.

This, then, is a perfect example of over-complicating things. Someone would give me a compliment and I’d create an entire procedure around not allowing myself to hear it, while simultaneously doing everything I knew to find a (very complicated) way in which I could.

Kind of crazy, but nonetheless the sort of thing we humans can do.

So, how to change it? Well, one counter action to overcomplicating things is to ‘go straight to simple’

By that I mean having or receiving a response to something and accepting it as that. Without needing to extract some presumed hidden meaning, or impose an additional judgement.

I have examples of how this already works in my own life. Take jazz, for instance. It’s something I have little technical understanding of, and even less memory for. In other areas I’d overcomplicate that - worrying about what I should know or want other people to think I know. But with jazz, I never let my lack of knowledge inhibit my response to it. I hear the music and I’m moved. 

People have been telling me for a while that we can nearly always pick the simple path simply by choosing to do so. And that’s increasingly becoming my experience. In the same way, we can choose to be happy at any moment. It’s as simple as that.

But what about if it doesn’t always work that way in the moment? What about when simple doesn’t come simply? Because, sometimes, if you’re feeling frustrated and scratchy, being told you can ‘simply choose to be happy right now’ isn’t always helpful.

What I’ve learnt to accept is sometimes it just takes a little nudge and a little practice. If overcomplicating things is your habit, as it was once mine, that’s fine, it’s simply a position to move on from.

I started by taking stock of all the simple things in life that made me happy. The ones I don’t question. And then I did more of them. So, walking through the Heath near my house fills me with awe. Walking through the City makes me feel alive. Relating with people on a daily basis keeps me connected. And accepting compliments as they’re given, allows me to enjoy them.

In short, doing more good things gives me more good feelings, more often.

And if my overcomplications prove more stubborn, I take a progressive approach. After all, a lot of great simplicity emerges as a result of stripping away unnecessary layers. A copywriter will hone their text until a complex idea is presented in the simplest way. This usually comes from a process of writing draft text and then steadily removing anything cumbersome or unnecessary.

In Zen Brushwork you’ll spend an entire morning practising body movements and breathing exercises before you’re ready to mark the page with a single line of ink.

So while going straight to simple is something I can achieve instantaneously in some areas of my life, in others it’s still a destination. And that’s fine, because I know the more I practice, the easier it becomes to take the direct path. And the best news is, being an intense kind of person, I get to enjoy the journey along the way.

 

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To find out how Creative Change Coaching can transform your life, call London coach Caroline Chapple on 07813 943 787 or email caroline@chapplecoaching.com