The thought with a scowl

Once we get the idea we’re creating our own realities (in our heads, ma) we truly have the ticket to ride. Anywhere. Because of course, we can now create the reality we *want* rather than the one we’ve previously conjured up.

It’s a good idea at this point to do an inventory of the thoughts in our head – as they’re the things that fuel our emotions and tell us what to feel. If we allow ourselves to wallow in or attach importance to all the bad stuff, chances are we’re going to have a miserable time. If instead we listen to the kind/useful/supportive/exciting thoughts, life’s going to be a whole lot more fun.

This isn’t just about positive thinking in the sense of ‘let me feel my happy thoughts’, it’s about challenging the way we think.

In fact it’s about challenging whether we think at all.

To quote one of my teachers, Michael Breen ‘your problem is, you think you’re thinking’ (a reprimand that frankly confused me when I first heard it).

Before we realise there’s no actual hierarchy of thoughts, we tend to believe some are more valid than others. That means we filter out ones that don’t fit our view of ourselves, or the world. So I might disbelieve the one that says I can spend a day without chocolate, and there’s a chance I won’t expire. And let in the one that says because my hair is wonky today, small children will point at me and cry.

Where we go wrong is ‘we think we’re thinking’. We think we’re making rational decisions about which thoughts deserve attention and which can be dismissed. Even when we know we’re choosing the wrong ones (‘I really should allow the four degrees I have to convince me I’m intelligent’) we still don’t question the process, so much as the exception to the rule.

The point is our thoughts are there whether we like it or not. The good, the bad and the ugly. And while there are definitely things we can do to loosen, quieten and still them, they’re going to continue to exist. This is fine as, treated right, they provide a pretty useful function (Shall I clean my teeth? Please God, yes.)

So the trick, then, is to stop giving them a gravitas they don’t deserve. To accept they don’t come with a built in loading system.

They are just thoughts. Each one of them with the same, neutral, value.

It’s what we do with them, once they appear, that matters. Listen to, ignore, listen to/ignore for now. We get to decide.

Which brings me to the scowl.

With a little practice you’ll catch yourself ‘thinking you’re thinking’ pretty quickly. A thought will come in. You’ll nod your head sagely. You’ll believe it and feel what’s appropriate for you to feel. And it’ll slink off, rather smug that it got through. And then you’ll suddenly find this other thought popping into your head, which says: ‘Oh. I don’t have to take that on. It’s just a thought!’

Believe me, it’s a great moment. Once we’re free of *believing* our thoughts, a whole new world of possibilities opens up.

And how did I catch one of those thoughts the other day? It had a scowl on it. I had a bad thought and I felt it scowl. I don’t know how, but I did. That was how I knew it was one to let go.

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To find out how Creative Change Coaching can transform your life, call London coach Caroline Chapple on 07813 943 787 or email caroline@chapplecoaching.com