To meditate or not to meditate

For a long time I didn’t meditate because I was scared of what it meant. I thought I had to sit in the most uncomfortable posture possible and stay still for a long time, until the unrelenting discomfort somehow made me eligible for enlightenment.

As a result, I didn’t do it much.

Then I started working with the incredibly wonderful Bill Cumming – who both teaches and embodies loving kindness. And through him I learnt a kind of meditation that’s both easy to do and deeply profound.

What’s more, I now notice the difference it makes to my day when I do it, and when I don’t. That’s not something that used to come easily to me (the noticing thing).

So now, when I work with clients, I always ask them what they do for ‘self care’. And, if they want it, I offer up my non-tiresome daily meditation process for their consideration.

It works for me and I know it’s worked for many of my clients. So I offer it up here – with love - as a possibility for consideration. No back ache required.

Non-tiresome daily meditation

It really does make a difference if you do whatever practice you do at the start of the day. Our minds are at their most sensitive as soon as we wake up, and it’s important to fill them with enriching thoughts. I usually shower, shake off my dreams and return to bed (super comfortable).

The meditation I do is split into three, manageable 10-minute chunks.

First ten minutes : recognising the miracle

The first part has three sections, which is about recognising in turn:

- that we live in a miracle

- that we’re all connected

- that all we can control is how we show up in the world in any moment

So I essentially spend the first ten minutes musing on these three ideas.

It isn’t hard to acknowledge that we live in a miracle. You only have to look out of the window, or across at the digital appliances that fill our lives, or over at a plant or animal. You only have to think about the fact that by breathing air in and out of our lungs, we get to live. If I’m thinking about this while I’m outside I tend to search out some grass pushing out inbetween spaces in the concrete – it’s nearly always there.

Then I think about how we are all connected. Whether it’s about who else is looking at the same clouds as me, or about how the objects in my room originate from far flung places, or even something more spiritual... You don’t have to look far to see how we tangentially touch the lives of people we think we have nothing to do with.

As soon as I’ve spent even a few minutes thinking about these things, I’m suddenly appreciating how extraordinary it is to be alive (and we’re only 6 minutes in).

Then to the third part of the thinking which is about how ‘the only thing I can control is how I show up in the world today’. While you may be able to influence many things, it doesn’t take too much examination to understand you can’t really control very much in this world. But you can always control your response to things.

That thinking alone gives me a useful mindset for the day.

So to recap – for the first 10 minutes I simply think about:

- that we live in a miracle

- that we’re all connected

- that all we can control is how we show up in the world in any moment

Second ten minutes – reading something inspirational

The second ten minutes is easy to explain. I read something inspirational for ten minutes – for me it’s usually two pages from extracted writings that Bill has collected.  Anything that inspires you will do the trick.

This second ten minutes also gives you a break from trying to direct your own thinking.

Part three: Heart space

In this part of the meditation I simply spend 10 minutes focusing of love – or spending it in ‘the heart space’.  

This ends up being extraordinarily powerful. On the days that I’m more ‘in it’ I swear I feel myself floating. And I definitely, definitely carry a sense of grounded love with me throughout the day (this is a good thing, and it has a cumulatively positive impact on my day-to-day living).

I now have a process for the easiest way I find to sit in my heart space. This is it:

First of all I think of someone I love without complication, someone I love completely and effortlessly. Some days it has to be the cat (cake doesn’t work so well).

I simply think about them for a minute or two. I might I think about what I love about them, or remember times we’ve spent together laughing. Anyway, pretty soon I’m smiling.

Then I broaden the scope of who I’m thinking about. I think about the other people in my life – who I might love with more complicated feelings. That’s easier to do now.

Then I extend the scope further and think of all the people I might meet that day, thinking about them, in turn or on mass, from that same loving perspective.

To put it another way, I think about people I love – and then from that relaxed state of mind I think about people I have more complicated relationships with. And it feels different.

So then I push it out further. If I’m feeling at odds with someone, someone at work say, I consciously think of that person. You’ll be amazed at what happens to these relationships when you do this consistently. I’ve transformed several tricky ones.

And then on some days (and I’m still practising this) I move onto people I don’t know – determining to love everyone in north and then the whole of London. The goal is eventually to love all people (which Bill says leads to an extraordinary expression of love and life - and I absolutely believe him).

And then it’s time to get up and live the day – from a really, really great starting point.

Of course, the most important thing about doing any kind of regular practice is to do what feels right for you. That way you’ll want to keep doing it. And I promise you, just this 30 minutes (even if you just do one of the 10 minute segments) does something magical and transformative.

It has made a profound difference to my life – so give it a try and see if it does the same for you.